An LA Clippers Festivus: Airing of Grievances
By Brian Cullen
The gang is back, this time with some holiday spirit. Brian Cullen, Garrett Chorpenning, Joseph Raya-Ward, and Ryan Snellings have all gathered to celebrate a Clippers Festivus. The four of us are airing our grievances and we don’t care if you like it or not.
Welcome to Four Quarters, a series we are doing here at Clipperholics. Each part of this series will feature four of our writers discussing a given topic regarding LA Clippers news, opinions, rumors, and everything in between. In this fourth episode of the series, we are putting the aluminum pole up, performing the Feats of Strength (Ryan made Brian cry before there was even physical contact), and most importantly participating in the Airing of Grievances.
For those of you that aren’t Seinfeld fans- first off, seriously? More importantly, we’ll give you a brief understanding of Festivus. George Costanza’s father, tired of the religious and commercial undertones of traditional holidays, created his own winter holiday. A FESTIVUS FOR THE REST OF US! Celebrated on December 23rd, the holiday has a few token traditions. First, you put up an aluminum pole instead of a tree or bush (tinsel is too distracting). You gather for dinner. After dinner is the Airing of Grievances where you reveal the ways in which everyone has disappointed you. The evening ends with the Feats of Strength; the head of the household challenges one person to a wrestling match.
Brian Cullen
The Continued Clippers Tradition of Complaining
After the Lob City era ended officially, there were two years where one could have a conversation about the Clippers without mentioning how much they complain to the officials. It was great being able to publicly criticize Draymond Green for harping at every single whistle with smug judgment. It was an amazingly high horse to sit on and I was fully prepared to ride that steed into the sunset.
Alas, in 2019 the Complaining Clippers have made their return. Even Lou Williams is picking up double techs for arguing with refs and getting ejected. LOU WILLIAMS. That man should be as cool as, well as cool as a dude that had two girlfriends and is confident enough to get a replica of his manhood molded and gifted to a loved one.
Only the Clippers could take a superstar historically devoid of reaction like Kawhi Leonard and get him to throw his arms up in frustration and start intensely talking to an official uncomfortably close. Paul George has followed suit as well. There have been multiple possessions where one of the team’s stars goes hunting for a call, tries to initiate contact on a drive, doesn’t finish, and starts jawing about the lack of whistle without getting back in transition.
A lot of superstars in the league get the benefit of the doubt and get to enjoy the euphoric sound of a Classic Fox 40 With Finger Grip whistle. But, maybe sometimes there’s more power in staying quiet. If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. UNLESS IT’S FESTIVUS. Driven Over Given right? Isn’t that what the team is living by now? So then live the process and DRIVE to the rim and forget about being GIVEN a superstar’s call.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE?! YOU’RE NOT HELPING. Yeah, you. That’s right, there’s no fourth wall here for you to cower behind. Every time you tweet something like “the Clippers lost to Team X and the referees” you only allow this cycle to continue. Scott Foster doesn’t come to your place of business and criticize how you work.
Speaking of the refs…
How about we stop missing and making bad calls? You have one job. Just because your uniforms lost the stripes doesn’t mean that our favorite players don’t get to see the stripe from time to time.
The only Clipper I want to see going headstrong at the refs after a bad or missed call is Glenn Anton “Doc” Rivers. It’s his job to fight this fight. Plus, in true holiday fashion, it usually ends up in a gif that keeps on giving.