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Tips From a Fan: How to Deal with the LA Clippers’ Offseason

By Garrett Chorpenning

Apr 30, 2017; Los Angeles, CA, USA; Los Angeles Clippers flag is waved on the court before the start of game seven of the first round of the 2017 NBA Playoffs against the Utah Jazz at Staples Center. Mandatory Credit: Jayne Kamin-Oncea-USA TODAY Sports
Apr 30, 2017; Los Angeles, CA, USA; Los Angeles Clippers flag is waved on the court before the start of game seven of the first round of the 2017 NBA Playoffs against the Utah Jazz at Staples Center. Mandatory Credit: Jayne Kamin-Oncea-USA TODAY Sports /
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December 12, 2016; Los Angeles, CA, USA; Los Angeles Clippers spirit dancers dressed in Star Wars stormtrooper costumes perform during a stoppage in play at Staples Center. Mandatory Credit: Gary A. Vasquez-USA TODAY Sports
December 12, 2016; Los Angeles, CA, USA; Los Angeles Clippers spirit dancers dressed in Star Wars stormtrooper costumes perform during a stoppage in play at Staples Center. Mandatory Credit: Gary A. Vasquez-USA TODAY Sports /

Watch Star Wars

Estimated Time: about 17 hours, without breaks

To cope with these not-so-thrilling times in Clipperland, I myself have resorted to watching the entire Star Wars saga. I came in with high expectations, as I was blown away by Rogue One when I saw it in theaters. By the end of The Force Awakens, I knew I had stumbled upon something that was well worth my time.

The movies have nothing to do with the Clippers or basketball, which is perhaps a reason why I enjoyed them so much. They kept me distracted from all the rumors and the impending doom that is free agency. Not once did I think about the chances of seeing Chris Paul in a San Antonio Spurs jersey, or ponder whose career is more vital to the future of our team – Paul or Blake Griffin?

Instead, I worried and thought about Star Wars stuff. What’s going to happen next? Why does Darth Vader sound so funny? Why is Boba Fett so popular? Why doesn’t Anakin like sand?

(Editor’s Note: Because it’s rough and coarse and gets everywhere. Duh)

For a while there, the thought that we’re still 4 months from Clipper basketball wasn’t so agonizing. The thought of a real-life Death Star, though, was.

(Another Editor’s Note: Garrett here hasn’t even touched on the greatness of The Clone Wars, which is available on Netflix. 6 seasons of this coupled with 3 seasons of Star Wars Rebels will kill a ton more time.)

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