Fantastical Choices, Part 3: The Sequel to The Sequel


Check out Part I and Part II if you missed ’em.  We now continue with our analysis of a fantasy bball draft chosen completely randomly from all the fantasy drafts in which I participated.  …Okay, fine, it was the only one I did.  Again, a (K) after a player’s name means they were a keeper & probably won’t be discussed.

Round 4

1. Monta Ellis Brad

2. Al Horford Ginny

3. Marcus Camby Michael C.

4. David Lee Mike M.

5. Baron Davis Nick

6. Antawn Jamison Frankie

7. Elton Brand Mike K.

8. Mo Williams Rich

9. Tony Parker Greg

10. Mehmet Okur Shai

11. Manu Ginobili Eyal

12. Shawn Marion Alex

Most Likely To Fail But You Gotta Take That Risk At This Point: Goes to Mike K. for his selection of Elton “Back-Stabbing” Brand.  With EB sitting around in the middle of the fourth round ya kinda gotta go for him since he ain’t that far removed from being a first-round pick.  On the other hand, all reports said he looked slow & awful in the pre-season, so I doubt he even gets back to being worth a third round pick.

Biggest Surprise: Goes to Ginny taking Horford.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s a great pick, but since Yahoo had him listed at 60 it was a surprise to see him go at #38.  I think he’ll end up producing the best stats in this group (unless Camby somehow manages to stay healthy & productive all season, which is a huuuuuge “somehow”).

Most Likely To Be Mentioned After He Posted On Our Fantasy Site That He Considers It A Good Thing Whenever He’s Not Mentioned: is definitely Michael C.  And not just ‘cuz he didn’t want to be mentioned.  I’d’ve gone for David Lee here rather than risk Camby.  But Michael’s younger and probably has yet to realize the importance of always having someone solid next to you rather than constantly hoping to get something better (& thus forever being disappointed).  Then again, maybe his dreams’ll come true.  Maybe Michael will find a happiness that he didn’t think was possible, while I will live a life of unfulfilled mediocrity and compromises.  …Man, I’m suddenly seriously depressed.

Jew Pick O’ The Round: Again is me, taking Shawn Marion.  Pre-draft I planned on taking a center with this choice, figuring since Okur, Horford & Bynum were ranked 49, 60 & 68 respectively, one of them or David Lee would definitely still be available.  It seemed too early to get Okafor (since he’d been injured all pre-season) or Boozer (due to injury concerns & uncertainty about what his role would be regardless of whether he stayed with the Jazz or was traded).  Plus I think Boozer’s a punk.  With my initial plans scuttled, I again saw how far the Matrix had fallen, and figured “It’s a sale!  How can I pass that up?”  Plus he’d also hopefully give me those rebounds and blocks that I’d want from a big man.  Don’t get me wrong, I felt it was a decent pick for what was almost the fifth round, but I hated that I had to choose him under a cloud of uncertainty and bargain-hunting.

Round 5

1. Eric Gordon Alex

2. Carlos Boozer Eyal

3. Emeka Okafor Shai

4. Rudy Gay Greg

5. Michael Redd Rich

6. Leandro Barbosa Mike K.

7. Andre Miller Frankie

8. Anthony Randolph Nick

9. LaMarcus Aldridge (K) Mike M.

10. Hedo Turkoglu Michael C.

11. J.R. Smith Ginny

12. Allen Iverson Brad

Worst Choice That Forces Me To Use Bad Puns: The answer is the Answer.  The question is why would Brad pick him here?  Did Brad sleep through the entire past year?  Last year Iverson’s average stats put him at #72 for our league.  And he got good minutes when he played last year.  This season he was projected to come off the bench (although it now looks like no one mentioned that to him) on a team with multiple high-volume scorers (Mayo, Gay, Conley, ZBO) versus Detroit basically just had Hamilton & Stuckey (& Stuckey wasn’t even that high volume last year).  So far Iverson’s looked great stat-wise in his first two limited batches of minutes which might make one think he could be amazing when he eventually gets a solid 30 minutes/night.  The only thing is he’s shot like 67% in those 2 games, and the career 42+% shooter is unlikely to maintain such a level.  So even if he gets 12 shot attempts/gm, that means he’s only scoring like 11 points.  Yuck.  Maybe he also gets 5 assists and a steal, but that still ain’t 5th round material.

Biggest Gamble: Ginny’s choice of J.R. Smith.  Gee, I keep mentioning Ginny.  Am I obsessed with her ‘cuz she’s the only gal in the group?  Or does she just look at the fantasy world different than the rest of us ‘cuz she has the most ovaries in the group?  Or did I just go off on that whole tangent just for a sophomoric need to write the word “ovaries”?  It’s definitely not the last one ‘cuz I was debating whether to say she had the “most ovaries” or the “least testes,” so clearly I don’t have an unhealthy obsession with ovaries.  Wait, what was I talking about?

Oh yeah: who shot J.R.?  I mean, picked J.R.?  Ginny.  Why?  ‘Cuz the dude was on fire at the end of last season & into the playoffs.  For the final month of last season he was ranked #23 in our league.  However, first he was suspended for the first 7 games of the season, which is more than a 10th of our regular fantasy season.  Second, she was picking at the end of the round, meaning her next pick was soon, so if she had to have JR she easily could’ve gotten him the next round.  I would’ve rathered she take Kaman here.  Third, JR is one of those players who’s second home is the doghouse.  After showing promise his first year in New Orleans, JR completely fell out of Byron Scott’s rotation ‘cuz of his mental lapses.  Particularly since Scott now had someone who he felt more comfortable handling the ball: a rookie named like… what was it, Chris John?  Chris George?  Chris Ringo?  I forget, but it was something like that.  Ironically, the Hornet’s huge weakness is that they don’t have an athletic wingman who can consistently hit outside shots.  Can you imagine how sick they’d be if they had JR Smith alongside CP3?

Okay, now that we’ve drifted into history, in case you don’t remember, the Hornets used JR Smith as a throw-in for the deal with Chicago that brought them Tyson Chandler.  The thing was that Chicago didn’t want JR either & they instantly traded him to Denver for pretty much nothing just ‘cuz they didn’t want to deal with his attitude in the locker room for even one game.  Meaning the Bulls only took JR from New Orleans to make salaries work.  The Hornets could’ve given the Bulls anyone else & they would’ve been fine with it: they just wanted to get rid of Tyson now that they’d just signed Big Ben Wallace to a hugely crazy deal.  So the Hornets didn’t have to lose JR, but he had been such a headache to Byron that they gave away this extremely athletically talented 2nd year player playing on a minimum salary.  Thus it’s not surprising that despite his undeniable abilities, he has pretty much spent most of his time in Denver either on the bench or in the doghouse, only starting if necessary.  Now yes, JR’s supposed to start this year, but because he’s out for the beginning, George Karl now has a chance to get comfortable with Aaron Afalo replacing Dantay Jones’ old role as starting SG.  It’s basically the same situation as with Tyrus Thomas & the Bulls.  Both of these guys are crazy talented, but because they mess up on the little things all the time, they drive their coaches nuts & get yanked.  In other words, yes, if JR’s finally given big minutes he could be worth a 3rd round pick, but I don’t have faith that he & Coach Karl will get along the whole season.

Whew, that was long.  Okay, I’mna get through this round &then call it a day.

Worst Pick If Brad Wasn’t In The League: Frankie’s choice of Andre Miller.  Last year Miller had free reign in Philly.  Since Lou Williams was more of a shoot-first PG, ‘Dre didn’t really have any competition.  With Iguodala being the only other player capable of creating his own shot, Miller had the ball a ton.  As a result he put up the solid stats that he’s done for many years, keeping him as a fantasy PG (he was ranked #47).  He now was on a team with not only more players who can create their own shot (Roy, Aldridge, Outlaw, Fernandez & the upcoming Oden), but coach Nate McMillan had declared that ‘Dre’d be coming off the bench.  Sure, he’ll eventually win the starting job, but it definitely has made Miller unhappy, hurting the team’s cohesiveness a bit.  Anyway, even once Miller gets the starting nod, Roy will still handle the ball a ton, taking away assists, while other players on the team will also take shots away from Andre.  There’s nowhere for Andre’s stats to go but down.  Best case scenario is he only slips a bit and ends up actually being worth a 5th round pick.  The more likely scenario is that he averages like 10pts and 5assists with no 3s and pretty much no steals, making him almost waiver-wire material.

Pick I Would’ve Called The Sure-Fire Best Two Weeks Before The Draft But Had Changed My Mind About By The Time We Drafted: Nick’s choice of Anthony Randolph.  The dude was on everyone’s sleeper list & had looked phenomenal at Summer League.  Plus he’d been great the final month of last season.  He seemed like a no-miss.  He was gonna be my initial target for my pick this round, but I got scared off & switched my plan to nabbing Eric Gordon.  What happened?  I saw Randolph in a couple of the final pre-season games.  He looked tentative, wasn’t really jibing with his teammates on the court, and he kept getting less and less minutes.  And even though he’s only like 20, he had a knee brace and maybe something else on, making him seem fragile.  When Don Nelson announced that his new plan was to start Corey Maggette, I knew that Randolph was not gonna be one of Nellie’s players who got consistent minutes.  Granted Mags never did start, but the mad Don has shown that he only gives consistent regular playing time to Monta, SJax & Biedrins.  Azabuike, Maggette, Anthonys Morrow & Randolph will alternate nights as to who gets minutes.  It’s unclear whether rook Stephen Curry will be a regular or a guest-star (pay no attention to Nellie’s early raves, as Marco Bellini can tell you).  I do think Randolph will likely eventually get regular minutes, but I wouldn’t be surprised if if it takes 3-4 months for that to happen.