Your Complete Clippers NBA 2K16 Player Ratings

Happy NBA 2K16 day ladies and gentlemen, we’ve finally made it.

Because of the holiday I’ve yet to take an inch of sleep, but it’s been worth it because 2K Sports’ newest game trounces last years copy by a considerable margin. The rookies are fun. The Spike Lee-narrated MyCareer mode is pretty fun. MyGM and MyLeague have changed very little but they remain the reason why $59.99 escapes me annually.

And the rosters are fun. Speaking of the rosters, though we highlighted the majority names on this list, here is the full Clippers roster present on 2K when you purchase the game, their 2K ratings, and brief descriptions on how I feel about said ratings.

Note: Forwards Nikoloz Tskitishvili and Luc Mbah a Moute are NOT on the Clippers’ 2K roster. 

Chris Paul – 90

Best player on the team. And due to 2K’s new attempt to lower ratings in effort to improve them, the rating is just right for the Point God.

Blake Griffin – 88

Also the best player on the team, by my own logic Griffin and Paul should be the same rating.

DeAndre Jordan – 84

Even with the lowered ratings, this Jordan one feels right, though if I looked through the in-depth ratings I’d see that maybe Doc Rivers had some input because of them being overrated, all while the offense is a tad-bit underrated.

Jamal Crawford – 79

You show me a player who shot 39% from the field and his team was nearly 10 points worse on defense off the floor and I’ll go full-on rant mode about how they don’t deserve to be a 79, regardless of their past, relationship with workers for the game, or predictability of improving in 2015-16.

J.J. Redick – 79

It sucks that Redick won’t get his props — all the off-ball shooter love is directed toward Kyle Korver until further notice — but it doesn’t take a genius to recognize how great a year Redick — a career year at that — had last season; a fairly-brilliant person like myself can see it all through a quick Google search and so should 2K Sports’ ratings developer. Higher please.

March 31, 2015; Los Angeles, CA, USA; Los Angeles Clippers guard Austin Rivers (25) shoots against Golden State Warriors guard Leandro Barbosa (19) during the second half at Staples Center. Mandatory Credit: Gary A. Vasquez-USA TODAY Sports

Paul Pierce – 78

If Pierce was five years younger, he’d probably be an 85. Unfortunately, he’s about to be 38, making a 78 rating acceptable by my standards.

Josh Smith – 75

I’m shocked Mr. Dunks on People and Block Their Shots isn’t rated higher after a good bounce-back stint with the Houston Rockets; guess he’s in prove yourself mode also, like 50 percent of the roster.

Lance Stephenson – 74

I don’t know how Stephenson entered the season with a rating above 70 after the God-awful season he just had, but in the world of NBA 2K16 it helps being a recognizable name because the developers always look out for you. I predict this moves up as Lance one-ups whatever his lone year with the Hornets should be labeled as.

Austin Rivers – 73

NEPOTISM!!!! — no but really, Austin should at least be better than Stephenson, if off the strength of his playoff performance alone.

Cole Aldrich – 72

Ah, the 2K special: “hey, we’ll give you a chance to prove yourself after an okay year with a bad team, former notable first-round pick.”

Wesley Johnson – 72

SEE COLE ALDRICH.

Pablo Prigioni – 71

Prigs has all the savvy you’d expect from a 35-year old point guard so putting him right above the 70 mark is just right, and I doubt he inches up more than two points throughout the season.

Jul 21, 2015; Los Angeles, CA, USA; Los Angeles Clippers players pose with jerseys at press conference at Staples Center. From left: Branden Dawson (22), DeAndre Jordan (6), Austin Rivers (25), coach Doc Rivers and Josh Smith (5), Cole Aldrich (45), Paul Pierce (34) and Wesley Johnson (33). Mandatory Credit: Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports

Chuck Hayes – 68

Being a veteran + not being a terrible veteran + having a very recognizable skill + being old but not old at the same time = Hayes’ 2K rating.

C.J. Wilcox – 67

Fair rating — Wilcox hasn’t proven much outside of his body of work at the University of Washington, so going off that in combination with his five games in the D-LEague, just under a 70 seems right for the time being.

Branden Dawson – 66

If 2K knew how great a dunker Dawson was, I guarantee his rating would be AT LEAST a 70 — speaking of great dunkers and hilarious 2K iterations, let’s pour one out for the former Cleveland Cavalier great Jamario Moon; there weren’t many like you.

Next: Clippers are ready to go small-ball, and it could work